Laura Sweet
Certified Cancer Journey Coach; Student of the Dying (with a passion for ensuring dignity at the end-of-life); former Hospice Volunteer; Host — “Death over Dinner;” Endometriosis Sufferer/Advocate; Sepsis Survivor; Writer; Aunt.
Favorite Quotes/Mantras: “Let it Be.” ~ The Beatles; “Impossible is Nothing.” ~ Muhammad Ali
“What you resist most is what will set you free.” I once feared losing my mom to cancer after it nearly claimed her life while I was in graduate school in Boston. Fast forward 20 years to 2010, when I trained as a hospice volunteer in the SF Bay Area. In retrospect, I recognize that was so I could get a ‘front-row seat’ to the dying process in preparation for returning to Buffalo in 2012 to be my mom’s primary caregiver in her final months. Spending time with the dying changed everything for me — I found it incredibly life-affirming, clarifying, and fulfilling. It feels like a divine privilege to be with the terminally ill and their loved ones, and to cultivate a space of compassion and support for whatever comes up emotionally and spiritually. My intent is to bring peace and comfort into a setting that is often fraught with uncertainty and fear. Death is not scary to me; I see it as a vast portal connecting endings to new beginnings. I know energy doesn’t die and I feel I can commune with my beloved mom in a way I never anticipated.
I faced my own unexpected grave illness in 2013, which has required an all-consuming — and ongoing — physical recovery. My intestine was tangled, lost blood supply, and I became septic. Three emergency bowel resections left me without most of my small intestine. There have been clear and powerful silver linings, though: I have a keen understanding of what it’s like for clients to have a new normal, a different body with physical limitations, to have to rely on others to care for you at times — as well as the potential for surrender, acceptance and transformation in the face of loss. I have quit bullying my body into doing more than it can physically, like I did for my “first” (15-year) career in Tech. I follow my heart now, do what I love, and life is loving me back by supporting me in using my unique gifts. With the realization that I am all I need — and deeply loved — life became limitless and liberating.
As a coach I want to direct people to their own process, to show them a road beyond the one they’re on — to help clients through the shifts in identity, values, and priorities that inevitably occur during their illness or caregiving experience. I see myself in everyone I visit or coach and view them as humans first, patients second. It is the rigorous self-inquiry necessitated by Cancer Coaching training that attracts and ultimately heals us “Healers.” To be really seen, heard and understood, and for clients to know they are whole, unbroken, and worthy exactly where they are — that’s what we’re all truly seeking.
An interview with Laura:
What inspires you to get up in the morning? My freedom, and the possibility found in a fresh new day — opportunities to be a good teammate to my resilient body in terms of how I nourish it mind/body/spirit, and my daily practice of radical self-care. The beauty of Mt. Diablo. Thoughts of my inspiring friend, Janet, and her story of overcoming.
What are you scared of? Losing the ability to eat/enjoy food due to Short Bowel Syndrome. Not being able to care for myself — losing my independence. Needing a bathroom while stuck on the Bay Bridge in this epic SF Bay Area traffic!
People often underestimate the power of . . . A smile or kind word from a stranger; the healing that can happen even when there are no more curative measures; a grateful heart; breaking up with worry; viewing your life with curiosity and wonder rather than resistance and fear; vulnerability; purposeful stillness (even 5 minutes/day); anonymity when starting over in a new city/state.
I am in my power when . . . I’m making a new friend; visiting a nursing home and sitting bedside as a compassionate presence; dancing in my apartment to Thriller; connecting to my inner athlete — in particular, push-ups to Eye of the Tiger (!). Also, when I’m in nature, especially at my sacred space, Clarence (NY) Town Park and there’s a soccer ball at my feet.
If you could have one super power, what would you choose? To see that everyone has a friend, and no one dies alone.
You can follow Laura on twitter @laurasweetjane